The Odyssey

1 car. 2 days. 3 rolls of film. Maximum carnage.

The editors of this, your new favorite magazine, never tire in their quest to find and exhibit the finest and the freshest specimens of those vertebrates who hear the call of the open road, deaf to the sounds of eighteen-wheelers and sports cars. Our latest expedition, dubbed The Odyssey, took us on the trail from our home base of Halifax, Nova Scotia to a northern land, called Moncton, New Brunswick. Between these two points, there exists a stretch of highway so rich in its formerly live stock that during the five hours it takes to traverse, a rate of no less than 6 **C.P.H.**(corpses per hour) can be witnessed. Not bad, considering that there are people who are employed full time to sweep these little rascals under the proverbial rug.

The CPH dropped when we got over the inter provincial border, due to the fact that highways in New Brunswick have the forests cleared back much farther away from the road than those in Nova Scotia. This gives our hairy little friends more blacktop free area to frolic in. There is also a considerable amount construction and improvement going on to New Brunswick roads (something Nova Scotian animals never have to worry about) which tends to discourage playing in traffic.

Raccoon
Found: Nova Scotia, 5 KM south of Truro
Time: 1:54 PM
Weather: Light drizzle.
Freshness: Medium to old.
Bonus: Entrail stream - 2.5 to 3 foot jet.
Comments: The first piece of kill we stopped for, this was also one of the most impressive. Note the stringy quality of the intestine as it trails out in one single, almost minimalist line. The jaw is thoroughly dislocated, which leads us to believe that there was at least one head shot involved.

Crow
Found: Nova Scotia, 15 KM south of the N.S./N.B. border
Time: 9:15 AM
Weather: Clear and sunny.
Freshness: Fresh as a daisy, but not smelling nearly as good.
Bonus: Clean segmentation - 2 parts found about 10 feet away from each other.
Bonus: Fresh blood: not yet congealed or soaked in.
Comments: An interesting specimen. Found 50 feet away from **a pheasant **, which leads us to believe it was having a snack and got so involved with its meal that it didn't pay attention to oncoming traffic. Whatever hit it must have had razor blades for wheels; its wing was taken off at the joint with such precision that there were no visible tear marks.

Pheasant
Found: Nova Scotia, 15 KM south of the N.S./N.B. border
Time: 9:15 AM
Weather: Clear and sunny.
Freshness: Old 'n' skanky
Comments: We almost missed this one, and would have kept on driving if we had seen it, as it's a rather "plain Jane" piece of kill. However, its fate was inextricably woven with **the crow's**. In its state of decomposition, it made a soft and ready snack for the crow.

Porcupine
Found: New Brunswick, 15 KM south of the N.S./N.B. border
Time: 7:30 AM
Weather: Slightly hazy, sunny.
Freshness: Aged for flavour.
Bonus: Massive splatter.
Comments: This one did us proud. It was really the definitive piece of roadkill. With a dark spot of various porcupine juices encompassing a radius of almost 20 feet, this critter showed us what the true potential of kill really is. The amount of extraneous bits found around the main section show us that this was a porcupine who really got around.

Tire (a.k.a. fake kill)
Found: Nova Scotia, 60 KM south of the N.S./N.B. border
Time: 9:40 AM
Weather: A slight haze.
Freshness: Undetermined.
No bonus.
Comments: This "animal" fooled us into slowing down more than once for what we thought might be some prime highway candy. Seen from afar, it gives the impression of being formidable meat, but just as we were about to stop, we saw the treads and cursed under our breath. See the article in our next issue entitled "Roadkill: The good, the bad, and the bogus."

Cat
Found: Wentworth Valley, Nova Scotia
Time: 10:30 AM
Weather: Sunny
Freshness: Shiny and new.
Bonus: One popped eyeball - Looked like a squished grape.
Comments: The domestic animal is underrepresented on the highways of North America. Whether this is for reasons of superior intelligence or superior agility is uncertain. However, this cat gives it his all in this picture, showing that, when it comes to being dead on the road, our house pets can go up against any wild beastie out there.




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